Reaching Out

I hate being the "new girl" but inevitably I am every few years. New state, new city, new base, new roads, sometimes a new language, and always... always... new faces. 

Before we got married, I remember packing - well cramming - everything I owned into my Mazda 3 and making the grueling drive across the country with my dad. It was great for us, we bonded, stayed in crappy hotels, saw amazing things, and even went up inside the St. Louis Arch. The trip didn't change me, the day my dad left did. I was alone... my soon-to-be husband was at work, and I wasn't in Arizona anymore!

We flew back to get married but afterwards it was the same old story. Lucky enough for me one of my husband's friends and co-workers had a great wife! She invited me over, we went out to lunch, she let me get us completely lost then pointed me in the right direction, she went to the commissary with me for the first time, and we bonded really well. Later they threw a BBQ and there I was introduced to a bunch of the other Marine wives... now everyone didn't welcome me with "open arms" to say, but eventually I became good friends with most of them, which is quite a feat with a group of women, can I get an "amen?" Haha!

About 5mo into my time in Maryland a new wife from my husband's company arrived, she actually moved in one street away from me. I went over to say hello and from there I became the girl who invited her over, took her out to lunch, etc. She was also pregnant and when I found out she hadn't had a baby shower... that just wouldn't do, so I opened my home, planned the whole thing, and threw her a shower.

The majority of us have now left Maryland... Some (like myself) have already PCS'd again!  We are now in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Texas, and Virginia... but we'll never forget each other and the things that were done for us. From my second duty station I have friends back in Maryland, New York, California, North Carolina, Florida, Oregon, Colorado, Hawaii, Germany, Japan, and England (probably a few more I'm forgetting)! 

I tell you all of this to say- reach out! Don't let the "new girl" mope around in her house, be alone, and have to learn everything all by herself. Honestly, who wants or should have to do that? 

Obviously you won't stay in touch with everyone you meet. My super close friends are actually from our time in Hawaii rather than Maryland... but I am so thankful for my learning experience there. So please reach out, because who knows, your next best friend or deployment sister could be waiting!

-Tay

Dating Friends.

Making new friends is like dating without having to worry about physical intimacy...

• You still have that awkward first encounter.
• You have to be brave enough to say "hello."
• Once names have been established you need to decide what your first outing (aka "date") will be. Coffee, dinner, game night?
• You get butterflies before said event. 
• Your mind goes through the mental checklist- am I wearing an appropriate outfit for the situation, is my side dish/dessert/etc going to be good, will we have anything to talk about?
• After said event mentally you go through all the "stupid" stuff you said or did wishing you could change it/take it back.
• If you liked the person/people you anxiously wait for a text/call.
• When the text/call comes to invite you to another event you physically feel relieved. If it doesn't... Well that's what dark chocolate & Netflix are for, right? And if you didn't like them you've got to figure out a way to "break-up."

 

Add in husbands & children and it's like a group date mixing junior high and college- men congregating, girl talk, screaming, things being flung across the room, beer & wine (+more after your child spills chicken all over your potential friend's carpet).

And people think you stop having first dates once you get married. Hah!

Home Is Where The Heart Is

We've all heard it, seen it posted somewhere, heck many of us may have a pretty version of it hanging on our wall! As much as I like this saying, sometimes being a military wife we need another saying to preface it.

So... let's take a mini-trip down memory lane (mine that is, unless you just so happened to be in San Francisco sometime in April of 2009). I worked for the MWR from January-May of 2009, my final senior internship for my Recreation degree from Arizona State University-I miss that job! Anyway back to our trip, my sister flew in towards the end of my internship and we spent a quick weekend being tourists in San Francisco and the surrounding areas. It was so much fun, we took hundreds of photos, rode the cable cars, walked down Lombard St., explored China Town, enjoyed Pier 39 and Ghirardelli Square, and even went salsa dancing after making a quick purchase of some dress flats from Payless (no tennis shoes allowed in the club).

Now I'm sure all of you are staring at your computer screen wondering how on earth this is suppose to relate to "home is where the heart is." Don't worry I'm getting there!

We made very little purchases while we were there, lack of money was one reason the other is that we've never been very materialistic, and photos are our best souvenirs from trips. However, while we were in China Town there was a set of hand painted prints I just couldn't pass up.

 Honor. Courage. Dream.Where ever you may go, go with all your heart.

These all mean a lot to my husband and I, we have them hanging in our bedroom in a place we can see them every morning when we wake up. The first three are very important... but did you catch that last one? I mean did you really capture it's significance?

Where ever you may go, go with all your heart.

Military ladies... we move (a lot), I've done it, you've done it, we'll keep doing it. It's the military way of life. But we have to remember to truly invest ourselves in our new locations- make friends, find a church and volunteer, actually learn your neighbors names, try to have an open fridge house... this something my mom taught me. You visit my house once and I will serve you a drink, snacks, maybe even dinner. The second time you come, "you're home," please help yourself. I feel as though after a move we sometimes become "shut-ins." Not in the sense that we sit in our house all day, but rather that we shut others out for fear of being hurt (again). I know the sadness of saying goodbye to family, friends, loved ones. But, we can't let this fear mold our lives... we need to live our lives to the fullest! Be yourself,
accept invitations, you never know who will be placed in your life for that short season, or who you will have a positive affect on.

"There is a time for
everything,
for every activity under heaven."
~Ecclesiastes 3:1

So don't forget that where ever you may go in your journey of life, to go with all your heart!"