Comparison is the Thief of Joy

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Sometimes it’s hard looking in the mirror because this is what I see...

• Tired
• Unproductive member of society
• 30-something stay at home mom
• Bachelor's Degree that I've never used

I am the only person in my family who doesn’t work. I stand next to my husband who daily sacrifices so much for our country. My dad retired after 20yrs+ of serving others as a fire fighter. My mom was an entrepreneur way before that was the “cool” thing to do. Both grandfather’s are military veterans and work(ed) hard every day of their lives. Both grandmother’s fiercely devoted to family and helping others. My sister graduated college in 3yrs and finished her masters in under 2yrs all while teaching and coaching. Her husband is very devoted to his field of work because of the positive impact it makes on those who need it. My SIL works night shift and alternates child responsibilities with her police officer husband. My BIL travels all over the Midwest and east coast making a name for himself within his job field. My in-laws are extremely hard workers as well.

Then there’s me. I’m a stay at home mom. And while I do love that I get to see my babies grow, change, and develop new skills. I seriously just feel like I’m a hamster in a wheel most days- running and not going anywhere. I don’t have a set “learning” time or teaching plan for my oldest, and when I need 30min I’m not above turning the TV on for him. I haven’t made a meal plan in years and even when I did it was hard-pressed that I actually stuck to it. I don’t make everything from scratch. My laundry is a never ending process. My house is clean by many’s standards but I feel like it’s always dirty and it drives me nuts. 

Deep in my gut I know I am called to do more. Everyone says to do what you’re passionate about, but that’s always been my problem. I’m passionate about many things- family, friends, photography, remembering birthdays/anniversaries, documenting our life in a yearly photo book, trying new crafts, exploring new places. But really? How do any of those turn into a profession?

So there you have it...

I’m a 30-something mother of two, married to a US Marine, within a family of passionate workers, but utterly lost in my pursuit of purpose.

I Just Love Weekends.

I got a kid-free trip to Target (all the moms sigh in unison or jump for joy)! Best of all... 70% off Christmas clearance. I snagged wrapping paper & gift tags to be stored for next year, a few kids magic color books that we stash in our car doors for road trip meltdowns, and some generic stocking stuffer items to throw in my gift closet for those “oops, it’s ______’s birthday!” Then I saw the mugs, I don’t need anymore to be truthful, the ones I do have are from places we’ve eaten at and loved (Carlos’ Bakery, Cinnamon’s, etc.) or our previous churches (Severn Run, Anchor - just incase you’re looking). But this one caught my eye, and the total cost $1.49...

My initial thought was “I just love weekends because my husband is home, we get to spend quality time together, he gets more time with the kids, we explore the surrounding areas, sometimes go on day trips, and get spiritually filled at church.” So, I bought it.

Then, this morning as I filled up my new mug with hot water and threw in the tea bag, I thought “what if people took it as I just love weekends?” Because I don’t. I try to find joy in each day of the week, Monday through Sunday. Are weekdays sometimes rough? Yes, I am currently a stay at home mom with a 3yr old in the throes of potty training (oh, hey poop on the floor) and a 2mo old baby that demands to be held almost constantly. My husband works anywhere from 5am-7pm (give or take, military life y’all!) so often by the time he gets home all I want to do is hand him the baby, turn a cartoon on for the toddler, and check out for 30min. 

All that to say- I don’t just live for the weekend. I don’t just live for summer. I don’t just live for an upcoming vacation. I hope you see where I’m going with this. One of my mugs also says “Begin and end each day with an expression of joy.” Mug wisdom. If it’s not a thing- I’m declaring it one now. Each and every day we have a choice, will we be joyful or let the bad from the day drag us down?

On the eve of 2018... I'm declaring that joy will be something that I try to find daily!

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”

Proverbs 17:22 NLT