The Friendship Waiting Game.

Sometimes I really dislike being "the new kid on the block." No, I didn't go back to school, but I did just move 4,900mi over the Pacific and entire U.S. Continent. In 6yrs this is my 5th state... 2009 was the craziest - living in California for 5mo, Arizona for 5mo, and ending up in Maryland for the last 2. We moved from Maryland to Hawaii in spring of 2011, and just arrived here in Virginia about 7wks ago.

My house still needs some things put up on the walls, but the majority of "moving in" is done. I will forever tweak things, make small changes, re-arrange, and by the time it's "just right" it will be time to move again. But that's a whole different story...

Today I want to write about loneliness. We have been in this house for a little over 1mo. I have met a couple of the neighbors but they are all older than us and I don't really see them being "buddies" with a younger couple and their 9mo old baby. My husband works odd hours (ranging from 8-14hr days) Mon-Fri with the occasional weekend shift. I do work from home (surprise!) but it's all online marketing items done mainly by e-mail and/or social media, if the phone is involved it generally isn't a good thing. 

Which means... My main source of conversation is my son. Who only knows how to say "mama" "dada" "baba" and a bunch of gibberish that I can't translate. Of course I can call my family anytime, they love hearing from me and face-timing with their grandson/nephew, but that's not the same. They aren't here. They can't go see a movie with me, grab lunch, attend a workout class, etc. 

I am married to a wonderful man and we eat dinner together and usually take the baby on an evening walk while we talk. But he needs time to decompress after work even though some days all I want to do is plop the baby in his lap and drive to the grocery store or Target with no shopping list, just to aimlessly wander.

My son amazes me everyday with his new discoveries and likes. Earlier this afternoon he pulled all the books out of his toy bin and was "reading" them instead of playing with all the shiny-loud-plastic things. It was adorable.

As I mentioned before, my family is truly only a phone call away, I love it. 

BUT I crave face-to-face time, I want to know that someone I trust will take care of my son while my husband and I go on a much needed date (what are those?), I want a friend or two (really I'm not asking for a lot) that knows my likes-dislikes-fears-beliefs-etc and wants to be around me, and I them. 

I miss our "Hawaii Ohana" every day. We have a few friends we really clicked with in our short time from Maryland - but Hawaii brought us an extremely tight-knit group. To the point that if you were broken down on the other side of the island it would only take one text or call to have someone there to help! When a husband was deployed, the other husbands did car, yard, and maintenance work for the wife left behind. If you had a rough day, you could walk down the road and sit on your friend's couch while she chose a chick-flick, threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave, and poured you a glass of wine. We didn't knock if they knew we were coming, we walked in as if we belonged. We knew our way around each others kitchens and rotated dinner nights. We went on outings and vacations together. We celebrated holidays and big life events together. We had children together. We did life together. We weren't family by blood, but by choice.

I want that here. I need it. I am sick of being lonely. 

Here it's a bit different... We don't live on base. We don't have a family readiness group. The unit is so small and specialized some people don't even know they exist. 

So military items aside - Our neighborhood doesn't have a community center. I was amazed at how expensive the YMCA memberships are. MyGym/Gymboree for kids is WAY more expensive than a gym membership would be for myself. And we have tried so many churches but none of them have "felt like home." Some people don't understand that, but it's how we know it's the right place for us. Especially since those tight-knit people I was talking about from Hawaii... 75% of them we met through our church.

I am still getting used to my surroundings and the roads. But I am hoping to try out a free mommy & me class at the gym. Maybe do a story time event at a library (although my guy is still kind of little to understand). I'm trying to find a local MOPS group to join. I would love to take a class at Michael's or even the community college just for fun, but it would have to be evening/weekend and my husband isn't always guaranteed to be home. And before you say "hire a sitter" we refuse to let anyone watch our baby that we don't know personally, too many crazies out there. That's just the way it is for us.

I know friends will happen. They did in California, Maryland, and Hawaii... It's just a waiting game and I'm getting impatient.

Have you moved recently? Do you move often? What are your tips for making good quality friendships in a new completely unfamiliar place?
-Tay