10,978 days.

A HUGE part of me wants to freak out, say this can't be true, where did my twenties go, how am I this old, what have I truly accomplished in my life, and on and on... But, as I look back - I have lived an amazing life. One that others may look at and wish they had. One life. My life.

I didn't grow up with the "best" of everything, but I did grow up with everything I needed (and more). We had a nice house, our own rooms, and plenty of food in the fridge. One set of grandparents lived 10min away and we stayed with them often when we were younger. I had clothes, shoes, and sports gear even if it was second hand it all served its purpose and saved my parents money that was used for our sports fees and annual family trips. It also taught me the value of the dollar, thrift stores, a good sale, and savings! I'm sure my mom will point out we didn't always see eye to eye, but what teenager does especially when all the "cool" kids are dressing in name brands, etc.

We didn't have a pool but who needs one when all the neighbor's do and your family has a boat (and a timeshare to Lake Havasu)! Growing up in the desert lead to outdoor hiking adventures and fun on quads/dirt bikes both of which my dad bought for my sister and I after much research and finding them used at a great price via the classified ads (you know, those things prior to Craigslist!)
I didn't get a brand spankin' new car for my 16th birthday like 75% of my high school class, but I did learn to drive manual, change my oil, fix a flat, check my fluids, and watch my tire pressure... All things hardly anyone then much less now knows how to do! Thanks mom and dad. Not to mention my 4x4 1988 Pathfinder was a pretty awesome little beast.

I don't remember much about school other than I never felt like I fit in very well from Kindergarten all the way until my sophomore year of college... But I do remember my parents supporting, pushing, and tutoring me in everything I went for... From the 5th grade ELP exams, to dual credit high school courses, and SAT studies. Through all the homework tears they never gave up on me and I was the first one in our family to receive a full-ride tuition scholarship followed by a bachelor's degree (my awesome sister got the masters!).

Sports came and went ...didn't like gymnastics, didn't like figure skating, but I wasn't allowed to give up without completing the session, teaching me to follow through with things. I fell into soccer and my parents spent years driving us all over the southwest for weekend tournaments. The same for roller hockey, but they took it a step further being our coaches for a number of seasons and sticking up for us as the only girls playing.

Before I could even walk I went to Hawaii, who knew I would move there 24yrs later? I have lived in Arizona, California, Maryland, Hawaii, and Virginia. I have visited: Colorado, Florida, Kentucky, Missouri, Nevada, New Mexico, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, and Washington (I didn't include drive-thru or lay-over states: Illinois, Indiana, Oklahoma, West Virginia).

I've also traveled to Mexico (Puerto Penasco, Cabo San Lucas, San Luis, Costa Maya, Cozumel), Canada (Victoria, BC), Belize (Belize City), and studied abroad in New Zealand (Auckland, Rotorua, Tauranga) and Australia (Sydney, Canberra, Cairns, Brisbane). We also went to "the happiest place on earth" often when we were younger because my other grandparents lived just a few miles away in Garden Grove, CA (spoiled!).

I met my husband at 20yrs old and we got married when I was 23. Since then we've lived in 3 states and 4 homes, had 3 guinea pigs, 4 cars total (2 currently still), I've had 3 jobs, attended 3 churches, and most importantly we welcomed our son into he world! It seems surreal that this coming month we will celebrate 7yrs of marriage.

My life hasn't been "a complete fairytale"... I've dealt with minor things like hurt feelings, loneliness,  and heartbreak ...to major things like my dad's cancer diagnosis/treatments, anxiety/panic attacks, losing a set of grandparents, being ostracized by extended family, and having what I thought were good friends fall to the wayside or leave me behind completely. We continually move to places where I know no one and despite my degree I don't have a career or even a job to speak of at the moment. I've lost childhood friends to war and PTSD, seen friends lose their parents/siblings, some go through terrible separations/divorce, witnessed others battle over custody of children, and one of the worst things ever - seeing dear friends watch their babies fight to live only to have some pass away.

All that being said there has been plenty of good! Weddings, babies being born, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, fun trips, spontaneous adventures, surprises, girls nights, gaining lifelong friends, deepening my relationship with Christ, and so many tiny everyday "happy moments" I've lost track of!

God blessed me with entering this world in 1986 and 30yrs later I am still here. A little more confident, wiser, yet rough around the edges. A good friend posted this: "Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many."

Here's to no regrets - only learning from mistakes, loving those I hold dear, and continually living life to the fullest!

I’m Done.

I'm done with y'all. D-O-N-E. Black, brown, white. 
I love you - all of you. 
Please stop fighting. 
Stop killing. 
Stop rioting. 
Just stop. 

Injustice and racism is, sadly, real and prevalent. I am not trying to say otherwise. What I am saying is the more we fight, argue, spit venomous words, beat each other up, burn down our cities, and in extreme cases kill all we are doing is making the line drawn in the sand become a trench, deeper and deeper it goes.

Once we hit the bottom, then what? The winner is the one who claws their way to the top? Dog eat dog? There's no true victory in that situation. 

Let's talk - peacefully - about the issues. Protest all you want without rioting. They are two different things... the definition of protesting is to "express an objection to what someone has said or done" while a riot is "a violent disturbance of the peace by a crowd."

Is there an easy answer? An easy fix? No, there is not. But anything worth fixing takes time and effort. The first thing we need to start doing - love one another. Then listen to each other. Finally work towards a solution. TOGETHER.

15yrs Later.

15 years ago I was eating breakfast with my mom when the towers were struck, I still went to school that day, but all we really did each period was watch the news in utter disbelief. 

15 years ago I was a freshman in  high school, the vast majority of this year's freshman class will learn about the events of September 11th as actual HISTORY. As in, they weren't born yet when this historic day took place. 

15 years of an empty place at the dinner table and a hole in the hearts of people who lost a loved one that day. 

15 years and the war is still going on.

15 years worth of deployments and some brave men and women only returning to their families in caskets draped by a flag. The American Flag. 

15 years ago our country stood united... 

15 years later - I feel as though we are more divided than ever. 

For today, can we please stand as "One Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." That is my prayer.

Social Media is a Can of Worms.

I have always hated the media, but I think I'm starting to hate the Internet/social media even more...

The media has always been "compromised," they are either on the right or the left or are getting paid off by someone. That's just how it is. Feel good stories are far and few ...scandal, death, etc. are what keep people on their channel, reading their paper or website.

But the internet, social media especially, is a can of worms. Before websites, chat rooms, instant messaging, MySpace, Facebook (oh, Facebook), people had to spread their conspiracy theories and hatred (be it racist, sexist, etc.) through word of mouth or print. Now anyone, anyone can be a "keyboard warrior" and have their words read within a matter of minutes, seconds even.

I love the social media for keeping me connected with family since we live so far away, but other than that it just frustrates me. Lies are perpetuated. Hate is re-posted at lightning speed. Everyone has something negative to say about some "other group," some "policy," some "outrageous" act.

I could link a few to help explain but since you're reading this I'm sure you aren't blind to other posts... and I don't want to feed the beast.

I know it's not feasible for us to all get along, but I'm really starting to think that our country is in for some serious trouble in the upcoming years. I feel like we're moving backwards despite everyone saying we're making forward progress in our thinking and policies. 

• The law is failing us.
• The people are divided.
• Political correctness is becoming ridiculous.
• People are trying to erase history instead of learning from it.
• What we stand for is being tested and re-imagined.
• Conspiracies are coursing throughout the veins of many in this country eating into the hearts of other citizens.
• Everyone is offended by something and now feels the right to call foul on it all.

"Oil Slick Hair" - Manic Panic Hair Dye Review

If you are on any form of social media these days I'm sure you've seen "oil slick" or "mermaid" hair... if not, open a new tab and do a quick google search. Alright, now that we're on the same page, awhile back I decided I wanted to do a hidden oil slick because I wasn't brave enough to do my entire head! My sister had recently dyed her entire head in an ombre purple but she had to strip and bleach her hair first. I wasn't cool with that and I didn't want to use a permanent dye either, I like the kind that gradually washes out over time... so the research began, I ended up deciding on Manic Panic Dyes.

These dyes are vegan friendly (which I didn't even know was a concern with hair dyes, but there you go!) and semi-permanent. We had a trip planned to visit my family so I asked my sister if she could pick-up these colors from Sally's Beauty and some supplies in preparation for my arrival.

One Sunday afternoon we set-up shop in my parents back yard and she went at it... She separated my hair into sections then applied the colors randomly (completely in no particular order like the rainbow you see in an actual oil slick), then she rolled it in foil, and moved onto the next section.

The end result was so vibrate and amazing looking!

I wanted to see how long the colors lasted, so my plan was to take a weekly update photo. I missed a couple weeks but you can see that the vibrancy started to fade after a bit. My hair really held onto the red (which actually doesn't surprise me since I naturally have strawberry blonde hair in the summer time). I'm currently 8 weeks post-dye and I still have some red streaks throughout.

1 Week -- 2 Weeks -- 3.5 Weeks -- 6 Weeks

So for my hair, with no bleaching or stripping:

• Purple Haze - washed out within the first week
• VoodDoo Blue - actually looked teal in my hair (which I liked!) but was basically gone by 3.5wks
• Infra Red - Still going... I like it!

We had half a jar left of each color so I wanted a simple travel solution, luckily I found out my son's Parent's Choice Puffs container fit them perfectly! I just taped the lid shut and threw it in my suitcase.

The only down side to these dyes that I found was the transfer when my hair was wet. I purposely put an old pillow case on my nightly pillow. I had red and purple streaks on it. I will confess that I am guilty of putting my hair in a top knot while wet from the shower and just going to bed. I also used an old beach towel for my hair when getting out of the shower, it also showed red and purple streaks... I think my hair may have held the colors longer because I only wash it between 4-5 days and use dry shampoo in between, but I can't vouch for that.

Anyway, if you're looking for a fun twist on hair, I do recommend Manic Panic Dyes! Maybe just dry your hair before going to bed unlike me ;)

Have you ever done anything crazy with hair color?
Let me know in the comments!
-Tay

*I was NOT compensated by Manic Panic - I just wanted to share my personal experience and pass it on to ya'll!

Good Friday +Recipe ("Crack"er Toffee)

Last weekend we drove up to Fredericksburg, VA to meet with friends living in Maryland as well as friends from Portland that flew in to spend a week with the Maryland friends, followed by a week with us. It was so much fun getting together again - it had been 2yrs since we had all lived in the same place (Hawaii) and we have added 3 more kids to the group! Easter will be our first major holiday here in Virginia that we don't have travel plans or family coming to town for. It made me a bit sad thinking about our time in Hawaii because we were such a close knit group always making sure everyone was included in holiday potlucks, etc. considering we were all thousands of miles away from family in the middle of the Pacific Ocean...

Anyway, today is Good Friday and for us that means remembering the sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. We may not be truly settled into a church or have that amazing group of Friends, but the knowledge of what Jesus did for us on that Cross is enough! Christ gave it all so we may have it all in heaven. It's Friday, but Sunday is coming!

Photo credit: Verses Project

I recently made some Cracker Toffee also known as "Dessert Crack" (bad name, I know!) since once you have a piece you won't want to stop eating it, it's SO addicting! This particular batch was Easter/spring themed, but I've made it for Christmas and I'm pretty sure you could make it for absolutely any occasion by changing the type of chocolate and toppings. If you're still looking for a dessert to bring to your Easter potluck, this is quick and simple!

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"Crack"er Toffee

• Approx 50 Saltine Crackers
• 1 cup butter (2 sticks)
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 2 cups dark chocolate chips (or any type of chocolate you prefer)
• M&Ms for topping (I've used slivered almonds as well)

1) Preheat oven to 325*
2) Line a baking pan (mine is 17.25x11.5x1in) with foil and grease
3) Arrange saltines on pan
4) Place butter and brown sugar in a small sauce pan over medium heat
5) Once the butter melts completely, bring to a boil and stir constantly for 2min until nice and bubbly
6) Pour mixture onto the saltines, spread it quickly with a spoon/spatula
7) Place in oven for 8min
8) Remove from oven and immediately sprinkle the chocolate chips on top
9) Allow chips to sit for a minute then spread them evenly over the toffee layer
10) Sprinkle M&Ms
11) Sit on counter until cool (you can pop in the freezer for 10min but I don't recommend more unless you plan to store these in the fridge because the chocolate will sweat/melt)
12) Once completely cool and set, peel off foil and break into chunks
13) Will keep in an airtight container on the counter for 1wk (2wks in the fridge), but I doubt it will last that long!
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HAPPY EASTER!!!
-Tay

Ohana.

For those of you who have never left home (I'm talking more than those 4yrs of college or moving a town away) I don't really know how to explain this accurately but I will do my best.

Moving somewhere completely new changes you in ways you can never understand. Moving to an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean thousands of miles away from anyone you know adds a whole new element. My time in Maryland was short all of 16mo, we did find a church and a group of friends to "do life" with, most of which we keep in touch with today. But Hawaii is where our life really became "our own."

Within 3 months of moving there I started having debilitating panic attacks - to the point of throwing up, jolting awake, and having to go to the ER twice within 2wks. We were desperate for answers, desperate for a place to call home (been in an hotel room for 60 days and ended up in a temporary apartment for 3mo before renting our home on base), and desperate for a place to fit in.

We tried a few churches, but once we walked into Hope Chapel Kaneohe Bay (now Anchor Church) we knew we were "home." I started attending a women's study and we planned to join a married group once my husband returned from his upcoming deployment. The women in my small group got me through my anxiety issues, supported me during the deployment, and some became very close friends that I talk to daily/weekly even now!

Once my husband returned we jumped into a young married's group and the rest is history... Weekend get togethers, impromptu dinner nights, beach & boat trips, hikes, holiday parties & potlucks, rallying around those who moved/were sick/had kids/etc. These people were our Ohana, we knew if we needed something all we had to do was call. Even if our car broke down on the other side of the island, someone would show up! Thousands of miles away from home and we still had that safety net. There's just something about that island. That life. That time. I will never forget those moments or people.

I need to find that here.