Military Marriage

I get asked the weirdest things sometimes regarding my marriage... a recent one was “knowing what you do now about the military lifestyle would you still have have chosen to marry your husband?”

After my initial blank stare and thinking “wait, for real?” in my head... yes, unequivocally yes. First, I fell in love with him, not his job. Second, I met him after he had already joined the military, this was already his chosen career path so that was present right from the start. I know what you’re thinking though- “what about the separations, the deployments, the trainings, the constant moves, the lack of a career for you, everything you’ve given up?” Well let me address those...

Being separated from the one you love regardless of a TDY, training exercise, or deployment teaches you a lot about yourself. You figure out what you can handle on your own, you set a schedule that works for you, you dig into the community and find a tribe like no other, you get it done. It also makes you appreciate your time with your spouse that much more. Do we argue, get on each other’s nerves, push each others buttons, go through periods of not liking one another. Yes, yes, yes a hundred times yes. But love. Always. Even amongst the fights and tears.

As far as my lack of career and sacrifices that I’ve made, well yes, it’s interesting and frustrating all at the same time. I gave up a job opportunity with Norwegian Cruise Lines to marry my husband and move 2,300mi away from everything and everyone I knew. I have a degree in Recreation and Tourism Management,  that has never been used for the intended purpose. I easily could have, especially during our time in Hawaii, however nights and weekends are the main work hours in this field (besides school programs which I hope to get into someday) and if I chose that then I would never see my husband (and now children), which wasn’t worth it to me. Plus, throw in the cost of childcare and not seeing my babies hit milestones, you get where I’m going with this. That is not to say I haven’t worked! In Maryland I worked for a school and sports portrait company. In Hawaii I ran my own photography business and was hired by a team of realtors to handle their social media and marketing- which I actually still do today remotely from Virginia! 

As far as moving every 2-4yrs. Yes it’s hard. I can’t sugar coat that. However, I never would have been able to afford a place in Hawaii with the ocean less than an 1/8th of a mile from my front door. I never would have chosen to live in Maryland or Virgina but both places have offered amazing road trip experiences and friendships. Speaking of friendships... I’m not one of those people with a best friend who I grew up with, my closest, most understanding, and real friendships have come from meeting and diving into relationships with people in each place I’ve lived.

This life, as I assume with any lifestyle/marriage, is a give and take. Do I feel like I give more somedays? Definitely. However my husband’s mind and body is pushed to the limit daily and he loves his job so there’s nothing I would want to say to take that away from him. People seem to think marriage is 50/50... but that’s just inadequate. You can’t devote half yourself to something so important. Marriage is 100/100... you devote everything you have so when your spouse drops to 50% your love carries them through, and vice versus. It’s not a game to see who does more. There isn’t a winner or loser within a team. 

#RedforEd #InvestInAZ

The silence is killing me.
My silence that is...
The general population has gone cuckoo once again.

"Teachers are greedy, selfish, self-centered, etc." 
I even saw a few people calling them thugs! Thugs. 
Really? 

thug

THəɡ/

noun

plural noun: thugs

1.

a violent person, especially a criminal.

synonyms:

ruffian, hooligan, vandal, hoodlum, gangster, villain, criminal;

 
I'll tell you what- my sister is a middle school teacher. She goes in long before the kids show up, she stays long after they leave, she coaches three different sports, she doesn't "have summers off" because she is taking Personal Development Classes (that she has to pay for, yet are required of her), attending STEM conferences, teaching summer school, and working on her upcoming lesson plans. And, excuse me, but even if she were making "the average $48k" per year, all of you saying that they get the summers "off" means that in the course of a year she is making $4,000 per month BEFORE taxes are taken out and BEFORE health & dental insurance is taken out.

She is not part of the Teacher's Union. She doesn't want to walk out on her students. In fact, she and a majority of teachers have worked with their district governing board to partner with the local community recreation centers. So, she may be walking out of the classroom... but it will be across the street to the community center to be with her students whose parents cannot afford to keep them home from school. Sure sounds selfish to me.

She doesn't care about claiming a political party nor blaming one over the other. I completely agree with her, this should be a human issue, not a political issue. Private schooling cannot be the answer if we want Arizona (and the country for that matter) to be able to compete with the world in regards to educational standards. Every child should have access to a decent education. Many students are using books that were published decades before they were even born, some classrooms don't have enough chairs/desks and the ones they do have are rickety. Educational supplies aside, when your child has to use the bathroom at school - don't you want it to be clean and stocked with toilet paper and hand soap? The janitorial staff is just as underfunded (falling under the education budget), so in addition to teaching your children all day long your child's teacher may be staying late to help clean bathroom counters and scrub toilets. Some even purchase soap and hand sanitizer for their students to use. That's in their job description, right?

What I really can't understand are the people clamoring about the teachers walking out “setting a bad example for their children,” when just a month ago the vast majority were praising all the high school students for doing exactly the same thing. Is it wrong for me to believe that an educator with a 4-6yrs+ degree and ___# of years in their profession should be trusted on the issue of education more than a 15-17yr old kid yelling about gun control (when they legally cannot purchase a weapon) or, you know maybe they just walked out to skip class?

A pay raise - the threat of the teacher walk-out is not actually about that, if it were this wouldn't be happening. Teachers would have just taken the 20% promised and continued on with their jobs, but they don't want it to be taken away from public safety, etc like so many news reports and online posts I've seen have been stating. Arizona educators want to know specifically where the funding is coming from, they want to know it will actually be used for said purposes, and they would like to know where the money that was devoted to education went when Governor Ducey took office.

The utter vile, hatred, and shameful things coming out of people's mouths directed towards teachers shocks me. If you are so worried about your children, I think you need to take a step back and think about the words you have said or typed. Are you being a good example for your child? Maybe you need to remember that in addition to your son or daughter, their teacher also has 22-29 more kids of the exact same age in their classroom. Their teacher knows each of their names, learning issues they may have that need special attention, food allergies, and often much more than that (home situations, foster care, etc). I for one get burned out with my TWO children... I can't imagine having THIRTY others with individual personalities, hormones, attitudes, etc. that I invest my time and heart into only to have their parents basically drag my reputation through the mud.

Please think before you speak.
Do your research.
Stop the hatred.

[Click to view images larger]

I firmly believe that people in our country have forgotten how to be decent human beings. Face to face conversations discussing topics without screaming, yelling, and belittling others are becoming a rarity. The vast majority of people claim to be “anti-bullying,” but bring up a subject and suddenly that goes out the window. The worst are the keyboard warriors (trust me, I realize the irony as this is posted on my blog) who sit behind computer screens and type hate-filled responses completely forgetting that there is a HUMAN BEING on the other side. A living, breathing, blood-pumping, loving person whom you are shredding with your words... Listen, I get it! No one likes being wrong. No one enjoys accepting defeat.

Teachers are people.
They take care of your kids while you work.
Don’t have kids? Who taught you?
Even if I didn't have children or a sibling/relative who was a teacher, I would still be on their side. I don't want the future leaders of our country to be uneducated or vastly behind on the world stage.
 
Please- Contact the governor, senators, representatives with viable options for funding the education system. I have and I will continue to. At the very least, stop tearing others down.
 

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Sometimes it’s hard looking in the mirror because this is what I see...

• Tired
• Unproductive member of society
• 30-something stay at home mom
• Bachelor's Degree that I've never used

I am the only person in my family who doesn’t work. I stand next to my husband who daily sacrifices so much for our country. My dad retired after 20yrs+ of serving others as a fire fighter. My mom was an entrepreneur way before that was the “cool” thing to do. Both grandfather’s are military veterans and work(ed) hard every day of their lives. Both grandmother’s fiercely devoted to family and helping others. My sister graduated college in 3yrs and finished her masters in under 2yrs all while teaching and coaching. Her husband is very devoted to his field of work because of the positive impact it makes on those who need it. My SIL works night shift and alternates child responsibilities with her police officer husband. My BIL travels all over the Midwest and east coast making a name for himself within his job field. My in-laws are extremely hard workers as well.

Then there’s me. I’m a stay at home mom. And while I do love that I get to see my babies grow, change, and develop new skills. I seriously just feel like I’m a hamster in a wheel most days- running and not going anywhere. I don’t have a set “learning” time or teaching plan for my oldest, and when I need 30min I’m not above turning the TV on for him. I haven’t made a meal plan in years and even when I did it was hard-pressed that I actually stuck to it. I don’t make everything from scratch. My laundry is a never ending process. My house is clean by many’s standards but I feel like it’s always dirty and it drives me nuts. 

Deep in my gut I know I am called to do more. Everyone says to do what you’re passionate about, but that’s always been my problem. I’m passionate about many things- family, friends, photography, remembering birthdays/anniversaries, documenting our life in a yearly photo book, trying new crafts, exploring new places. But really? How do any of those turn into a profession?

So there you have it...

I’m a 30-something mother of two, married to a US Marine, within a family of passionate workers, but utterly lost in my pursuit of purpose.

Anxious Mommy Heart.

No one tells you how truly stressful parenting can be... 

You try to balance between discipline and teaching respect. You make sure he knows his ABCs, 123s, colors, shapes, etc. You read to him to encourage the love/habit. You have him unload the silverware from the dishwasher and help sort laundry to foster teamwork. You socialize with other parents who have kids his age to encourage friendship. You struggle with potty training, but push on. You make time for one-one-one outings to remind him he was your first baby. You love him unconditionally even on the days you want to pull your hair and hide in the closet.

And then he gets sick. His small pitiful 3yr old voice crying for “Mommy” breaks your heart. You want to cuddle with him and make it all better but the baby is screaming and now you’re terrified of her getting sick too. The nurse hotline gave great advice, but it didn’t quench my anxious mommy heart. This has been the scariest flu season I can remember in my 30yrs+ on earth... my husband had a co-worker die from it this week! That’s way too close to home. Way too close to my kids. Way too stressful for my anxiety-riddled mind to even comprehend right now... it’s 10:41pm and my alarm is going to go off in exactly 19min for me to check my son’s temperature for no less than the 10th time since this afternoon. If I wasn’t 3mo post partum and nursing the baby I would give anything for me to be the one sick and not him... but I cannot fathom being sick, nursing, and taking care of both of them as well. I know it’s possible. If it happens I will power through. But man. Parenting is hard. Body, soul, and mind.

Praying and clinging to these words tonight: 

“Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times.”

Romans 12:12 GNT

The Innocence of Children

The innocence of children always gives me hope that the future of our neighborhoods, cities, states, and country will be more harmonious than the current state of affairs. Today was beautiful, complete with sunshine and 65* weather. My husband had a homework assignment due so he stayed home with the baby while my 3yr old and I walked down to our neighborhood park. For quite awhile my son had the playground to himself, then an adorable Indian girl showed up and took my son “under her wing,” shortly after there were two beautiful black sisters, and gorgeous Hispanic siblings. Once the soccer games wrapped up across the street the playground just exploded with children. All of them giggling, running, helping each other up the rock wall, and ending up in dog-piles at the bottom of the slides.

I only heard one comment regarding differences and that was when the Indian girl’s mother yelled at her (I’m assuming it was along the lines of “be careful” since she was hanging off the side of the bridge) from across the playground. Another girl said “you speak English well, do you speak Indian too?” I didn’t hear the end of that conversation, but about 5min later the two girls were skipping arm in arm across the field.

Asian, Hispanic, Indian, Black, and White... all playing together in harmony. I love the diversity of our neighborhood and that the parents are obviously teaching these kiddos that the color of a person’s skin has no bearing on friendship, etc. 

When it was time to leave the park my little boy looked up at me with a huge smile on his face and said: “Mommy, I had fun with all my new friends!” 

That said, he is starting to recognize visual differences. He’s getting really good recognizing his colors now and earlier this week he pointed to my arm and said “what color is that?” I replied “skin color,” he did the same for his daddy and sister’s arms... my answer was always the same “skin color.” But, he knows mommy and daddy are different colors... he corrected me and said mine was white and daddy’s arm was brown. Smarty pants! I don’t think for him it has to do with anything other than the fact he likes to speak out the colors of everything- “Mommy what color is the sky?” You tell me buddy,” “Okay Mom, it’s blue!” And the conversation continues... grass, street, trees, flowers, cars. I love that he’s becoming aware of the beauty God has surrounded us with.

He hears the word “hapa” used when people say “oh your babies are so beautiful, are they hapa?” Someday he’ll understand that means he’s half White, half Asian. But I hope to continue to foster an acceptance and appreciation of all people regardless of their race/ethnicity. I think if we could all keep the innocent mindset of children, there’d be a lot less judgment and confusion for sure. Not to mention we’d all have a ton more friends if all it took was one afternoon hanging out at the playground! Haha!

My son and I really enjoy this song:

https://youtu.be/UEzCQBwQkdA

Tiny Toes.

I pray that these tiny toes will go many places during my daughter’s life. Whether that be exploring different countries, leading children across school grounds, walking through the halls of __________.

Obviously I have no idea what her future holds, but I can control the present. I can help guide her (and my son’s) feet by being the best mom I possibly can. 

I strive to teach my children love, respect, discipline, humility, cooperation, and to instill the fact that asking for help is okay, that we can voice our opinions (but to realize they won’t always be accepted and furthermore they won’t always be correct), and that relationships are far more important than things.

I don’t have it all together.

I yell too much. Timeouts happen.

But so do “I’m sorry & I love you.”

This is real life. And I’m just trekking on...

A Fellow Mom.

Today as I was filling out forms at the doctor’s office I glanced up to see this young mother juggling her baby while trying to get formula powder into the bottle (I wish I had noticed earlier - I would have offered to help). The baby kicked, formula went all over her lap, and you could just see the tears well up in her eyes as she put the screaming baby back into the car seat so she could try again. 

I finished my forms and ripped out a notes page from my day planner (yeah, I still use one of those). I quickly wrote down this quote:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day!” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I also added:

“Keep your head up momma, you’re doing a good job, we’ve all been there. Just try to enjoy that baby. God bless.” - A fellow Mom

I slipped it to her with my heart racing as I was called back to see the doctor. I’m not one to do these kinds of things normally, it makes me super anxious (just ask the nurse who took my vitals - oops my blood pressure was a tad high) but I’ve been reading Lisa Tykuerts’ “The Best Yes” and she takes about God appointments, and I don’t want to miss anymore opportunities to brighten someone’s day.

I Just Love Weekends.

I got a kid-free trip to Target (all the moms sigh in unison or jump for joy)! Best of all... 70% off Christmas clearance. I snagged wrapping paper & gift tags to be stored for next year, a few kids magic color books that we stash in our car doors for road trip meltdowns, and some generic stocking stuffer items to throw in my gift closet for those “oops, it’s ______’s birthday!” Then I saw the mugs, I don’t need anymore to be truthful, the ones I do have are from places we’ve eaten at and loved (Carlos’ Bakery, Cinnamon’s, etc.) or our previous churches (Severn Run, Anchor - just incase you’re looking). But this one caught my eye, and the total cost $1.49...

My initial thought was “I just love weekends because my husband is home, we get to spend quality time together, he gets more time with the kids, we explore the surrounding areas, sometimes go on day trips, and get spiritually filled at church.” So, I bought it.

Then, this morning as I filled up my new mug with hot water and threw in the tea bag, I thought “what if people took it as I just love weekends?” Because I don’t. I try to find joy in each day of the week, Monday through Sunday. Are weekdays sometimes rough? Yes, I am currently a stay at home mom with a 3yr old in the throes of potty training (oh, hey poop on the floor) and a 2mo old baby that demands to be held almost constantly. My husband works anywhere from 5am-7pm (give or take, military life y’all!) so often by the time he gets home all I want to do is hand him the baby, turn a cartoon on for the toddler, and check out for 30min. 

All that to say- I don’t just live for the weekend. I don’t just live for summer. I don’t just live for an upcoming vacation. I hope you see where I’m going with this. One of my mugs also says “Begin and end each day with an expression of joy.” Mug wisdom. If it’s not a thing- I’m declaring it one now. Each and every day we have a choice, will we be joyful or let the bad from the day drag us down?

On the eve of 2018... I'm declaring that joy will be something that I try to find daily!

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”

Proverbs 17:22 NLT

Gold Star Wives & Families.

I STILL don't like posting political things... mainly because I don't enjoy feeding the endless nonsensical arguments that pop-up in the comments. But, just incase you weren't aware- yesterday was Gold Star Mother's & Family's Day. If you don't know what that means, in order to "earn" that title... your son or daughter must die in service to the country. Those families and service members come from ALL races, religions, backgrounds, etc. Yet, each and everyone is welcomed home and to their final resting place with a U.S. flag draped over their casket which is then folded and handed to their loved ones. The TV remained off in our home, I couldn't handle the nonsense being discussed. I scrolled past Facebook/Instagram posts as fast as I possibly could. The hardest part was knowing my husband had just been at a Memorial Service for a fallen Marine brother that morning.

Protest racism. Protest inequality. You CAN protest. That is your right. But, I honestly don't understand protesting the National Anthem of the country that has allowed you to make millions of dollars playing a game you love and given you a huge platform to actually be a positive role model to those who you hope to protect and those you hope to influence, etc. Remember it's the same National Anthem that all service members regardless of race, religion, etc. stand at attention for daily. President Trump (and "bad cops/police brutality" - because I am not delusional in how this whole thing started last year) is not the American Flag, nor is he the National Anthem, and most of all... he is NOT us. He, like every President before him, doesn't encompass the whole of the American people- the beautiful, unique, mixed, mess that we are. But the more and more we divide ourselves, the more people do become like him- the very thing (person) they seem to hate so passionately.

To those Gold Star Mother's and Families that I know personally. 
You were not forgotten yesterday. 
My love and prayers are with you.

Not “Happy” Memorial Day.

I'll be the first to admit when I was younger I said "Happy Memorial Day." But, as I have grown older, learned more about the history of the day, lost a family friend to war, a high school classmate to PTSD, and witnessed many others lose friends/battle buddies I no longer view it as okay. 

One of the first color guard ceremonies my husband was asked to participate in after our move to Hawaii, was at the Hawaiian Memorial Park Cemetery on Memorial Day. On the wall of the Veterans Building the words read: "Tell them we gave our todays for their tomorrows." Among other things, that ceremony and those words helped forever changed my view. 

I've read multiple interviews with Gold Star Wives (military widows) over the past week. All question why people are so "happy" on this day, for them is it simply the start of summer or the 20-30% off items at the stores -- why do we even have sales, Sept 11th doesn't (rightfully so)? Has the American population forgotten what this day is truly about? >> Honoring those who died in service to our country. 

I hope you realize that I am NOT saying you shouldn't enjoy the BBQ, beach, hiking, lake, time with family/friends, maybe even a little shopping, etc. I am saying please also take time to pause, reflect, remember, honor, thank, and if you have children - explain.

Info:

http://www.usmemorialday.org/?page_id=2

“Not My President.”

I'm so tired of being angry. It seems like everyone and everything makes me angry these days. I try my best to brush things off and just go about my day... but then days like today occur. Everyone and their dog is posting utter nonsense, hatred, and vile. No one does research on anything, it's a simple click of the "share" button with some snarky remark added.

Some are mourning over losing a "beloved" first family while others are celebrating that "trash" is leaving the White House. Let me be honest in saying that Mr. Obama wasn't my ideal President and frankly Mr. Trump hasn't given me a lot to look forward too... but they both share one significant thing- the Title of "President of the United States." (Not to mention my husband's boss). I am an American Citizen, therefore both of these men were/is "my President" by default. I am tired of the endless whining, arguing, and utter BS. Sure your candidate lost. In 3 of the 4 elections I've voted in- mine has too. Do you see me complaining, making hateful remarks, or rioting (yes-rioting, destroying public property is not a protest)? Okay your candidate won- I've experienced that once and I completely believe rubbing it in others faces is not the way to go about it.

Don't even get me started on the race thing- remember that my husband isn't white nor is my son. Religion? Well sorry to break it to you but Christianity isn't all that popular anymore and it seems like everywhere I go the Ten Commandments or crosses are being removed. Role model? Of course I don't see the actions of this man as something I want my son to strive for! But just as I hoped and prayed that President Bush and President Obama would lead our country honestly, fairly, justly, and with the good of the American People in mind - I will do he same for President Trump.

I see no point in continuing to divide our nation, our people, our home over this. If you want to do something - volunteer, contact your senator/congressmen, run for your city council or in your local state elections. Be a productive member of society... it's okay to disagree, it's not okay to drive a knife into an already open wound.

You Can Do This.

"Thank you so much for the advice, it means a lot!" <--- those are the gracious words I received today for taking compassion on someone who's shoes I've been in before. 

Standing in line at the post office, the young woman behind me looked extremely frazzled. I went up to the window and paid for my package and the extra stamps for my "too thick envelopes." As I stepped to the side counter to tediously place my .10 and .01 stamps the young woman stepped up to the window and blurted out "my husband just deployed and I don't know how to mail him anything, what boxes can I use, do I have to pay international fees, he's on a boat, how can I.... etc." the poor postal worker simply asked for the zip code and tried to explain that the packages are sent to a facility in the US first and that would determine the box she chose. Confused she walked to the package area and stared at the wall of boxes... 

I cautiously approached and said "first deployment?" With watery eyes she turned to me and nodded her head. I quickly explained the APO/FPO zip codes and how the boxes go to military distribution facilities within the US before being sent to ships or overseas locations. I did a quick run-down on filling out the customs forms, how priority boxes could weigh a lot but the rate didn't change compared to other boxes that you pay by weight, that she didn't have to pay international shipping rates, etc. I wrangled the toddler, and before parting ways, my last words to her- "you can do this!" 

Be kind to someone today.
Be helpful. Be Courteous.
At the very least... smile.
You never know what they are facing...

Post Holiday Slump.

When you fall asleep at 8pm... before your 2yr old... you know that it was an amazing holiday weekend spent with dear friends who at this point are basically family, especially when said toddler calls them uncle and auntie.

Unfortunately, it's 1am and I am now wide awake while hubby and toddler are sleeping peacefully. After traveling and spending time with people I love I always seem to get into a "slump," and right now I can't shake the thought that I should be doing so much more with my life - I just wish I knew what that was.

I am a Christian, daughter, grand daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law,  "auntie," mother, friend, university graduate, yet I still feel that longing for "a place to belong." I have always wanted to work somewhere that allowed me to impact others lives positively, I just don't know how or in what capacity that is at the moment...

We Are America

If you are grieving today, I grieve with you. 
If you are celebrating today, I celebrate with you. 

What I will NOT do:

• Bash you for your choices
• Ridicule your point of view
• Question your beliefs
• Belittle you
• Gloat 

So, I beg of you all. Please do the same. The world is not ending and the President is not a supreme being. Stop threatening to leave America (unless you actually have the funds and ability to do so, I wish you luck on that endeavor), instead choose today to be a light in a world of darkness - choose to play an active role in things you are passionate about. Whether that means volunteering, writing letters, etc. But most of all - be compassionate. People are people, no matter their political affiliation, race, religion, or sex. Be a good neighbor, an inspiring coach, an involved classroom mom, etc. 

WE ARE AMERICA. 

Not the president...

E Pluribus Unam.

Lakeside Contemplation.

Tonight's lakeside contemplation...

I love the diversity of backgrounds my friends come from, but right now I am so tired of my Facebook feed basically being article after article of mudslinging. If we all stopped focusing on three people, whom will most likely never even know our names much less what our lives are like - how we make a living, who our friends are, what our goals and dreams are, where we go to church, where our favorite local burger joint is, which beach we end up on to clear our minds, etc. and simply focused on each other I truly think we'd be better off! Be a great family member, neighbor, volunteer, write your senator/congressman, help invoke policies that directly relate to what you dream and desire to see changed! Clinton, Trump, and Johnson aren't going to be there for you when times get tough in your personal life - don't push away those that will.

10,978 days.

A HUGE part of me wants to freak out, say this can't be true, where did my twenties go, how am I this old, what have I truly accomplished in my life, and on and on... But, as I look back - I have lived an amazing life. One that others may look at and wish they had. One life. My life.

I didn't grow up with the "best" of everything, but I did grow up with everything I needed (and more). We had a nice house, our own rooms, and plenty of food in the fridge. One set of grandparents lived 10min away and we stayed with them often when we were younger. I had clothes, shoes, and sports gear even if it was second hand it all served its purpose and saved my parents money that was used for our sports fees and annual family trips. It also taught me the value of the dollar, thrift stores, a good sale, and savings! I'm sure my mom will point out we didn't always see eye to eye, but what teenager does especially when all the "cool" kids are dressing in name brands, etc.

We didn't have a pool but who needs one when all the neighbor's do and your family has a boat (and a timeshare to Lake Havasu)! Growing up in the desert lead to outdoor hiking adventures and fun on quads/dirt bikes both of which my dad bought for my sister and I after much research and finding them used at a great price via the classified ads (you know, those things prior to Craigslist!)
I didn't get a brand spankin' new car for my 16th birthday like 75% of my high school class, but I did learn to drive manual, change my oil, fix a flat, check my fluids, and watch my tire pressure... All things hardly anyone then much less now knows how to do! Thanks mom and dad. Not to mention my 4x4 1988 Pathfinder was a pretty awesome little beast.

I don't remember much about school other than I never felt like I fit in very well from Kindergarten all the way until my sophomore year of college... But I do remember my parents supporting, pushing, and tutoring me in everything I went for... From the 5th grade ELP exams, to dual credit high school courses, and SAT studies. Through all the homework tears they never gave up on me and I was the first one in our family to receive a full-ride tuition scholarship followed by a bachelor's degree (my awesome sister got the masters!).

Sports came and went ...didn't like gymnastics, didn't like figure skating, but I wasn't allowed to give up without completing the session, teaching me to follow through with things. I fell into soccer and my parents spent years driving us all over the southwest for weekend tournaments. The same for roller hockey, but they took it a step further being our coaches for a number of seasons and sticking up for us as the only girls playing.

Before I could even walk I went to Hawaii, who knew I would move there 24yrs later? I have lived in Arizona, California, Maryland, Hawaii, and Virginia. I have visited: Colorado, Florida, Kentucky, Missouri, Nevada, New Mexico, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, and Washington (I didn't include drive-thru or lay-over states: Illinois, Indiana, Oklahoma, West Virginia).

I've also traveled to Mexico (Puerto Penasco, Cabo San Lucas, San Luis, Costa Maya, Cozumel), Canada (Victoria, BC), Belize (Belize City), and studied abroad in New Zealand (Auckland, Rotorua, Tauranga) and Australia (Sydney, Canberra, Cairns, Brisbane). We also went to "the happiest place on earth" often when we were younger because my other grandparents lived just a few miles away in Garden Grove, CA (spoiled!).

I met my husband at 20yrs old and we got married when I was 23. Since then we've lived in 3 states and 4 homes, had 3 guinea pigs, 4 cars total (2 currently still), I've had 3 jobs, attended 3 churches, and most importantly we welcomed our son into he world! It seems surreal that this coming month we will celebrate 7yrs of marriage.

My life hasn't been "a complete fairytale"... I've dealt with minor things like hurt feelings, loneliness,  and heartbreak ...to major things like my dad's cancer diagnosis/treatments, anxiety/panic attacks, losing a set of grandparents, being ostracized by extended family, and having what I thought were good friends fall to the wayside or leave me behind completely. We continually move to places where I know no one and despite my degree I don't have a career or even a job to speak of at the moment. I've lost childhood friends to war and PTSD, seen friends lose their parents/siblings, some go through terrible separations/divorce, witnessed others battle over custody of children, and one of the worst things ever - seeing dear friends watch their babies fight to live only to have some pass away.

All that being said there has been plenty of good! Weddings, babies being born, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, fun trips, spontaneous adventures, surprises, girls nights, gaining lifelong friends, deepening my relationship with Christ, and so many tiny everyday "happy moments" I've lost track of!

God blessed me with entering this world in 1986 and 30yrs later I am still here. A little more confident, wiser, yet rough around the edges. A good friend posted this: "Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many."

Here's to no regrets - only learning from mistakes, loving those I hold dear, and continually living life to the fullest!

I’m Done.

I'm done with y'all. D-O-N-E. Black, brown, white. 
I love you - all of you. 
Please stop fighting. 
Stop killing. 
Stop rioting. 
Just stop. 

Injustice and racism is, sadly, real and prevalent. I am not trying to say otherwise. What I am saying is the more we fight, argue, spit venomous words, beat each other up, burn down our cities, and in extreme cases kill all we are doing is making the line drawn in the sand become a trench, deeper and deeper it goes.

Once we hit the bottom, then what? The winner is the one who claws their way to the top? Dog eat dog? There's no true victory in that situation. 

Let's talk - peacefully - about the issues. Protest all you want without rioting. They are two different things... the definition of protesting is to "express an objection to what someone has said or done" while a riot is "a violent disturbance of the peace by a crowd."

Is there an easy answer? An easy fix? No, there is not. But anything worth fixing takes time and effort. The first thing we need to start doing - love one another. Then listen to each other. Finally work towards a solution. TOGETHER.

15yrs Later.

15 years ago I was eating breakfast with my mom when the towers were struck, I still went to school that day, but all we really did each period was watch the news in utter disbelief. 

15 years ago I was a freshman in  high school, the vast majority of this year's freshman class will learn about the events of September 11th as actual HISTORY. As in, they weren't born yet when this historic day took place. 

15 years of an empty place at the dinner table and a hole in the hearts of people who lost a loved one that day. 

15 years and the war is still going on.

15 years worth of deployments and some brave men and women only returning to their families in caskets draped by a flag. The American Flag. 

15 years ago our country stood united... 

15 years later - I feel as though we are more divided than ever. 

For today, can we please stand as "One Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." That is my prayer.

Social Media is a Can of Worms.

I have always hated the media, but I think I'm starting to hate the Internet/social media even more...

The media has always been "compromised," they are either on the right or the left or are getting paid off by someone. That's just how it is. Feel good stories are far and few ...scandal, death, etc. are what keep people on their channel, reading their paper or website.

But the internet, social media especially, is a can of worms. Before websites, chat rooms, instant messaging, MySpace, Facebook (oh, Facebook), people had to spread their conspiracy theories and hatred (be it racist, sexist, etc.) through word of mouth or print. Now anyone, anyone can be a "keyboard warrior" and have their words read within a matter of minutes, seconds even.

I love the social media for keeping me connected with family since we live so far away, but other than that it just frustrates me. Lies are perpetuated. Hate is re-posted at lightning speed. Everyone has something negative to say about some "other group," some "policy," some "outrageous" act.

I could link a few to help explain but since you're reading this I'm sure you aren't blind to other posts... and I don't want to feed the beast.

I know it's not feasible for us to all get along, but I'm really starting to think that our country is in for some serious trouble in the upcoming years. I feel like we're moving backwards despite everyone saying we're making forward progress in our thinking and policies. 

• The law is failing us.
• The people are divided.
• Political correctness is becoming ridiculous.
• People are trying to erase history instead of learning from it.
• What we stand for is being tested and re-imagined.
• Conspiracies are coursing throughout the veins of many in this country eating into the hearts of other citizens.
• Everyone is offended by something and now feels the right to call foul on it all.

"Oil Slick Hair" - Manic Panic Hair Dye Review

If you are on any form of social media these days I'm sure you've seen "oil slick" or "mermaid" hair... if not, open a new tab and do a quick google search. Alright, now that we're on the same page, awhile back I decided I wanted to do a hidden oil slick because I wasn't brave enough to do my entire head! My sister had recently dyed her entire head in an ombre purple but she had to strip and bleach her hair first. I wasn't cool with that and I didn't want to use a permanent dye either, I like the kind that gradually washes out over time... so the research began, I ended up deciding on Manic Panic Dyes.

These dyes are vegan friendly (which I didn't even know was a concern with hair dyes, but there you go!) and semi-permanent. We had a trip planned to visit my family so I asked my sister if she could pick-up these colors from Sally's Beauty and some supplies in preparation for my arrival.

One Sunday afternoon we set-up shop in my parents back yard and she went at it... She separated my hair into sections then applied the colors randomly (completely in no particular order like the rainbow you see in an actual oil slick), then she rolled it in foil, and moved onto the next section.

The end result was so vibrate and amazing looking!

I wanted to see how long the colors lasted, so my plan was to take a weekly update photo. I missed a couple weeks but you can see that the vibrancy started to fade after a bit. My hair really held onto the red (which actually doesn't surprise me since I naturally have strawberry blonde hair in the summer time). I'm currently 8 weeks post-dye and I still have some red streaks throughout.

1 Week -- 2 Weeks -- 3.5 Weeks -- 6 Weeks

So for my hair, with no bleaching or stripping:

• Purple Haze - washed out within the first week
• VoodDoo Blue - actually looked teal in my hair (which I liked!) but was basically gone by 3.5wks
• Infra Red - Still going... I like it!

We had half a jar left of each color so I wanted a simple travel solution, luckily I found out my son's Parent's Choice Puffs container fit them perfectly! I just taped the lid shut and threw it in my suitcase.

The only down side to these dyes that I found was the transfer when my hair was wet. I purposely put an old pillow case on my nightly pillow. I had red and purple streaks on it. I will confess that I am guilty of putting my hair in a top knot while wet from the shower and just going to bed. I also used an old beach towel for my hair when getting out of the shower, it also showed red and purple streaks... I think my hair may have held the colors longer because I only wash it between 4-5 days and use dry shampoo in between, but I can't vouch for that.

Anyway, if you're looking for a fun twist on hair, I do recommend Manic Panic Dyes! Maybe just dry your hair before going to bed unlike me ;)

Have you ever done anything crazy with hair color?
Let me know in the comments!
-Tay

*I was NOT compensated by Manic Panic - I just wanted to share my personal experience and pass it on to ya'll!