Anxious Mommy Heart.

No one tells you how truly stressful parenting can be... 

You try to balance between discipline and teaching respect. You make sure he knows his ABCs, 123s, colors, shapes, etc. You read to him to encourage the love/habit. You have him unload the silverware from the dishwasher and help sort laundry to foster teamwork. You socialize with other parents who have kids his age to encourage friendship. You struggle with potty training, but push on. You make time for one-one-one outings to remind him he was your first baby. You love him unconditionally even on the days you want to pull your hair and hide in the closet.

And then he gets sick. His small pitiful 3yr old voice crying for “Mommy” breaks your heart. You want to cuddle with him and make it all better but the baby is screaming and now you’re terrified of her getting sick too. The nurse hotline gave great advice, but it didn’t quench my anxious mommy heart. This has been the scariest flu season I can remember in my 30yrs+ on earth... my husband had a co-worker die from it this week! That’s way too close to home. Way too close to my kids. Way too stressful for my anxiety-riddled mind to even comprehend right now... it’s 10:41pm and my alarm is going to go off in exactly 19min for me to check my son’s temperature for no less than the 10th time since this afternoon. If I wasn’t 3mo post partum and nursing the baby I would give anything for me to be the one sick and not him... but I cannot fathom being sick, nursing, and taking care of both of them as well. I know it’s possible. If it happens I will power through. But man. Parenting is hard. Body, soul, and mind.

Praying and clinging to these words tonight: 

“Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times.”

Romans 12:12 GNT