Saturday, May 15, 2010

Choosing a man, not a lifestyle.

I am living the military life and let me make this clear... I did not choose it. I chose a man who is proudly serving his country, whom I am madly in love with. We dated long distance our ENTIRE relationship. The closest we ever lived to each other was a 3hr drive, insanely enough that's how we met. Even that only lasted 4 months and he was re-stationed 2,300+ mi away! Yet, the 4 months of our weekend dates must have been pretty special because we decided to make things work. The longest we've gone without seeing each other is 10mo, man does it suck. We've spent thousands (literally) of dollars on cross-country plane tickets, more money on postal services to mail gifts, etc. Even with being married for almost 7mo now, we've spent more time apart than we have together!

One of the weirdest question I hear is- "how/why do you do this?" How on earth can you ask me or any military wife that question...seriously. How? Why? I married him for crying out loud, and I wasn't given an instruction manual, that would have made a nice little gift. I don't ask you how you live married to a lawyer or an accountant. I don't ask you why you complain about your husband's week long business trip when I have to deal with months at a time. I think people who ask that are silly and petty, and with my whole heart I think they need to remember why they married their husband. =/ I hope it was for love.

If we must be labeled (stupid) my husband and I are Christians. We profess that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior. This was an interesting topic early in our dating, as he was semi-raised Catholic, yet didn't attend services. He did attend the protestant services on base and was beginning to find his way in faith when we met. Later in our dating we did devotionals and book studies together via phone. [Daily Bread & The Relationship Principles of Jesus] Once we were engaged we managed to get our then pastors to work together to counsel us separately, while we discussed the topics of our book "Preparing for Marriage God's Way" during our phone conversations. It was intense, I had to learn the true meaning of a wife being submissive (not a slave!) and he had to realize it was his duty to lead and protect this family the same way Christ leads and ultimately sacrificed for us (intense!).

This life isn't easy. It isn't anything I imagined I would be doing. But, I love him and know his duty to our country is important. I don't have a job, not for lack of trying or education, I have my Bachelor's of Science... but moving around has made having a career tough. I am also selective about the hours I will work, I believe my husband and I need/deserve time together. He is gone for work in the vicinity of 10-12hrs a day, PT included. Meaning if I were to work late afternoons/evenings or weekends, well we would never see each other. In my mind- not acceptable. My marriage is much more important to me than some job will ever be. Do not mistake or confuse this for me being completely dependent on him, not true. I hang out with other wives, fiancees, and girlfriends, I do volunteer events, I am a consultant for a Candle/Military Gear company, I craft, attend Bible study, and do many other things for myself. My identity is not tied solely to my husband, though I love him dearly and have taken his last name.


So I am a...

Child of God.
Daughter.
Grand daughter.
Sister.
Cousin.
"Aunt."
Friend.
USMC Wife♥
&
Lover.
Fighter.
Dreamer.