Not “Happy” Memorial Day.

I'll be the first to admit when I was younger I said "Happy Memorial Day." But, as I have grown older, learned more about the history of the day, lost a family friend to war, a high school classmate to PTSD, and witnessed many others lose friends/battle buddies I no longer view it as okay. 

One of the first color guard ceremonies my husband was asked to participate in after our move to Hawaii, was at the Hawaiian Memorial Park Cemetery on Memorial Day. On the wall of the Veterans Building the words read: "Tell them we gave our todays for their tomorrows." Among other things, that ceremony and those words helped forever changed my view. 

I've read multiple interviews with Gold Star Wives (military widows) over the past week. All question why people are so "happy" on this day, for them is it simply the start of summer or the 20-30% off items at the stores -- why do we even have sales, Sept 11th doesn't (rightfully so)? Has the American population forgotten what this day is truly about? >> Honoring those who died in service to our country. 

I hope you realize that I am NOT saying you shouldn't enjoy the BBQ, beach, hiking, lake, time with family/friends, maybe even a little shopping, etc. I am saying please also take time to pause, reflect, remember, honor, thank, and if you have children - explain.

Info:

http://www.usmemorialday.org/?page_id=2

“Not My President.”

I'm so tired of being angry. It seems like everyone and everything makes me angry these days. I try my best to brush things off and just go about my day... but then days like today occur. Everyone and their dog is posting utter nonsense, hatred, and vile. No one does research on anything, it's a simple click of the "share" button with some snarky remark added.

Some are mourning over losing a "beloved" first family while others are celebrating that "trash" is leaving the White House. Let me be honest in saying that Mr. Obama wasn't my ideal President and frankly Mr. Trump hasn't given me a lot to look forward too... but they both share one significant thing- the Title of "President of the United States." (Not to mention my husband's boss). I am an American Citizen, therefore both of these men were/is "my President" by default. I am tired of the endless whining, arguing, and utter BS. Sure your candidate lost. In 3 of the 4 elections I've voted in- mine has too. Do you see me complaining, making hateful remarks, or rioting (yes-rioting, destroying public property is not a protest)? Okay your candidate won- I've experienced that once and I completely believe rubbing it in others faces is not the way to go about it.

Don't even get me started on the race thing- remember that my husband isn't white nor is my son. Religion? Well sorry to break it to you but Christianity isn't all that popular anymore and it seems like everywhere I go the Ten Commandments or crosses are being removed. Role model? Of course I don't see the actions of this man as something I want my son to strive for! But just as I hoped and prayed that President Bush and President Obama would lead our country honestly, fairly, justly, and with the good of the American People in mind - I will do he same for President Trump.

I see no point in continuing to divide our nation, our people, our home over this. If you want to do something - volunteer, contact your senator/congressmen, run for your city council or in your local state elections. Be a productive member of society... it's okay to disagree, it's not okay to drive a knife into an already open wound.

You Can Do This.

"Thank you so much for the advice, it means a lot!" <--- those are the gracious words I received today for taking compassion on someone who's shoes I've been in before. 

Standing in line at the post office, the young woman behind me looked extremely frazzled. I went up to the window and paid for my package and the extra stamps for my "too thick envelopes." As I stepped to the side counter to tediously place my .10 and .01 stamps the young woman stepped up to the window and blurted out "my husband just deployed and I don't know how to mail him anything, what boxes can I use, do I have to pay international fees, he's on a boat, how can I.... etc." the poor postal worker simply asked for the zip code and tried to explain that the packages are sent to a facility in the US first and that would determine the box she chose. Confused she walked to the package area and stared at the wall of boxes... 

I cautiously approached and said "first deployment?" With watery eyes she turned to me and nodded her head. I quickly explained the APO/FPO zip codes and how the boxes go to military distribution facilities within the US before being sent to ships or overseas locations. I did a quick run-down on filling out the customs forms, how priority boxes could weigh a lot but the rate didn't change compared to other boxes that you pay by weight, that she didn't have to pay international shipping rates, etc. I wrangled the toddler, and before parting ways, my last words to her- "you can do this!" 

Be kind to someone today.
Be helpful. Be Courteous.
At the very least... smile.
You never know what they are facing...

Post Holiday Slump.

When you fall asleep at 8pm... before your 2yr old... you know that it was an amazing holiday weekend spent with dear friends who at this point are basically family, especially when said toddler calls them uncle and auntie.

Unfortunately, it's 1am and I am now wide awake while hubby and toddler are sleeping peacefully. After traveling and spending time with people I love I always seem to get into a "slump," and right now I can't shake the thought that I should be doing so much more with my life - I just wish I knew what that was.

I am a Christian, daughter, grand daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law,  "auntie," mother, friend, university graduate, yet I still feel that longing for "a place to belong." I have always wanted to work somewhere that allowed me to impact others lives positively, I just don't know how or in what capacity that is at the moment...

We Are America

If you are grieving today, I grieve with you. 
If you are celebrating today, I celebrate with you. 

What I will NOT do:

• Bash you for your choices
• Ridicule your point of view
• Question your beliefs
• Belittle you
• Gloat 

So, I beg of you all. Please do the same. The world is not ending and the President is not a supreme being. Stop threatening to leave America (unless you actually have the funds and ability to do so, I wish you luck on that endeavor), instead choose today to be a light in a world of darkness - choose to play an active role in things you are passionate about. Whether that means volunteering, writing letters, etc. But most of all - be compassionate. People are people, no matter their political affiliation, race, religion, or sex. Be a good neighbor, an inspiring coach, an involved classroom mom, etc. 

WE ARE AMERICA. 

Not the president...

E Pluribus Unam.

Lakeside Contemplation.

Tonight's lakeside contemplation...

I love the diversity of backgrounds my friends come from, but right now I am so tired of my Facebook feed basically being article after article of mudslinging. If we all stopped focusing on three people, whom will most likely never even know our names much less what our lives are like - how we make a living, who our friends are, what our goals and dreams are, where we go to church, where our favorite local burger joint is, which beach we end up on to clear our minds, etc. and simply focused on each other I truly think we'd be better off! Be a great family member, neighbor, volunteer, write your senator/congressman, help invoke policies that directly relate to what you dream and desire to see changed! Clinton, Trump, and Johnson aren't going to be there for you when times get tough in your personal life - don't push away those that will.

10,978 days.

A HUGE part of me wants to freak out, say this can't be true, where did my twenties go, how am I this old, what have I truly accomplished in my life, and on and on... But, as I look back - I have lived an amazing life. One that others may look at and wish they had. One life. My life.

I didn't grow up with the "best" of everything, but I did grow up with everything I needed (and more). We had a nice house, our own rooms, and plenty of food in the fridge. One set of grandparents lived 10min away and we stayed with them often when we were younger. I had clothes, shoes, and sports gear even if it was second hand it all served its purpose and saved my parents money that was used for our sports fees and annual family trips. It also taught me the value of the dollar, thrift stores, a good sale, and savings! I'm sure my mom will point out we didn't always see eye to eye, but what teenager does especially when all the "cool" kids are dressing in name brands, etc.

We didn't have a pool but who needs one when all the neighbor's do and your family has a boat (and a timeshare to Lake Havasu)! Growing up in the desert lead to outdoor hiking adventures and fun on quads/dirt bikes both of which my dad bought for my sister and I after much research and finding them used at a great price via the classified ads (you know, those things prior to Craigslist!)
I didn't get a brand spankin' new car for my 16th birthday like 75% of my high school class, but I did learn to drive manual, change my oil, fix a flat, check my fluids, and watch my tire pressure... All things hardly anyone then much less now knows how to do! Thanks mom and dad. Not to mention my 4x4 1988 Pathfinder was a pretty awesome little beast.

I don't remember much about school other than I never felt like I fit in very well from Kindergarten all the way until my sophomore year of college... But I do remember my parents supporting, pushing, and tutoring me in everything I went for... From the 5th grade ELP exams, to dual credit high school courses, and SAT studies. Through all the homework tears they never gave up on me and I was the first one in our family to receive a full-ride tuition scholarship followed by a bachelor's degree (my awesome sister got the masters!).

Sports came and went ...didn't like gymnastics, didn't like figure skating, but I wasn't allowed to give up without completing the session, teaching me to follow through with things. I fell into soccer and my parents spent years driving us all over the southwest for weekend tournaments. The same for roller hockey, but they took it a step further being our coaches for a number of seasons and sticking up for us as the only girls playing.

Before I could even walk I went to Hawaii, who knew I would move there 24yrs later? I have lived in Arizona, California, Maryland, Hawaii, and Virginia. I have visited: Colorado, Florida, Kentucky, Missouri, Nevada, New Mexico, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, and Washington (I didn't include drive-thru or lay-over states: Illinois, Indiana, Oklahoma, West Virginia).

I've also traveled to Mexico (Puerto Penasco, Cabo San Lucas, San Luis, Costa Maya, Cozumel), Canada (Victoria, BC), Belize (Belize City), and studied abroad in New Zealand (Auckland, Rotorua, Tauranga) and Australia (Sydney, Canberra, Cairns, Brisbane). We also went to "the happiest place on earth" often when we were younger because my other grandparents lived just a few miles away in Garden Grove, CA (spoiled!).

I met my husband at 20yrs old and we got married when I was 23. Since then we've lived in 3 states and 4 homes, had 3 guinea pigs, 4 cars total (2 currently still), I've had 3 jobs, attended 3 churches, and most importantly we welcomed our son into he world! It seems surreal that this coming month we will celebrate 7yrs of marriage.

My life hasn't been "a complete fairytale"... I've dealt with minor things like hurt feelings, loneliness,  and heartbreak ...to major things like my dad's cancer diagnosis/treatments, anxiety/panic attacks, losing a set of grandparents, being ostracized by extended family, and having what I thought were good friends fall to the wayside or leave me behind completely. We continually move to places where I know no one and despite my degree I don't have a career or even a job to speak of at the moment. I've lost childhood friends to war and PTSD, seen friends lose their parents/siblings, some go through terrible separations/divorce, witnessed others battle over custody of children, and one of the worst things ever - seeing dear friends watch their babies fight to live only to have some pass away.

All that being said there has been plenty of good! Weddings, babies being born, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, fun trips, spontaneous adventures, surprises, girls nights, gaining lifelong friends, deepening my relationship with Christ, and so many tiny everyday "happy moments" I've lost track of!

God blessed me with entering this world in 1986 and 30yrs later I am still here. A little more confident, wiser, yet rough around the edges. A good friend posted this: "Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many."

Here's to no regrets - only learning from mistakes, loving those I hold dear, and continually living life to the fullest!